Yuppie quotient

1 in 3 of my loud, skinny, tanned South African neighbours are yuppies - a greater proportion than both London and England as a whole. But, as I'd always suspected, proper yuppies tend to steer clear of my area, and live in Wandsworth proper. Maybe it's the rapper gang murders and jellied eel stall on the main road that puts them off.

Scary to think that there are 6.1 million people in England spending 365 days a year watching daytime TV whilst on benefits. If they ganged up with the next 6.5 million doing the worst jobs imaginable, there might even be a workers' revolution. The problem is that they'd actually have to work once the glorious revolution has turned the gutters red with the blood of financial analysts and PR consultants.

Better get back to crushing the downtrodden proletariat.