Back in London, thank the almighty, but not without regional problems - having spent five hours taking me back to the North on Thursday (instead of the advertised two), GNER yesterday decided to stop providing trains at all, forcing me to crouch* for an hour in a regional corridor in a very crowded regional train to regional Sheffield, after which I crossed a windswept regional station platform to board a trans-regional train South, on which I stood for a further two and a half hours listening to regional people having regional conversations on their regional mobile phones.Maybe I should jack it all in, grow a regional moustache, put a regional pen in my regional breast pocket, and get with the regional lifestyle. Whatcha reckon?
*due to widespread malnutrition in the regions, people are shorter, resulting in trains with very low ceilings
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