Excel chimp: crunching numbers, counting beans

I'm lurking in a Secret Squirrel (NB 1970s cartoon reference again) Project Room on the floor of my office where our IT Support team is ...

Another day, another semi- Lionel - four in less than a week. My junior assistant is now really taking the piss about how old I am, and how...

Ever seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off ? I only ask because the junior Excel chimp currently assigned to receive muddled and infrequent orders ...

Just finished work for the day - my iPod served up the Nik Kershaw classic 'I won't let the sun go down on me' (his only classi...

Blog silence for a few days - I'm clinging to the icy black run that is an imminent reporting deadline. May still plunge into a crevasse...

Overheard on the bus this morning: Tooting undergraduate 1: When I graduate I'm gonna become a social worker, innit Tooting undergraduat...

...another opportunity to (use) excel. On a lengthy conference call back in the regions - GNER redeemed themselves by managing to run a tra...

Back in London, thank the almighty, but not without regional problems - having spent five hours taking me back to the North on Thursday (in...

Walked past the 'Queen's Delivery Entrance' sign this morning (which will allow the regional readers out there to identify where...

Made it back to the metropolis for a few brief hours - gratefully breathing in lungfuls of sulphur dioxide from stupid bendy buses. Good t...

I was going to regale you with amusing mobile phone photos of my regional hotel (pointy loo paper, beige shower curtain, creaky ironing boar...

Friends, I've been posted to a regional office for a while , and I've no idea whether the internet has made it up there yet, so ther...

Good to see that the Google ad server algorithm is working - track chimpanzees in the bush whilst controlling financial risk and governance...

... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. London has got through its second bout of snow in as many weeks. I wonder if yo...

I read somewhere that China blames the West for global warming. Fair enough. The problem is that their defence was backed up with some '...

Some of you may be aware of the chimp's parallel project, http://www.boilingtheocean.com/ , a collection of corporate bullsh*t jargon. A...

The Economist this week referred to the City's stock of 'due diligence accountants' being 'second to none'. The Economi...

It's five years to the day (I'm not anally retentive, I just remembered 02/02/02) since we moved into our current, and soon-to-be-ex...

Anti-social hours starting again - the chimp may be absent for a spell...

A clear winner in the Accountants-in-films competition.

...all of the bad press that estate agents suffer is wholly unmerited in my opinion. By way of context, the excel chimp enclosure in Tootin...

The above quote about Cherie Blair, by HRH The Duke of Edinburgh. Click on the thingummy to make it big and legible