I'm referring of course to the frame size of my new, XXL bike, which is up and running, or perhaps wheeling, like a dream. And this time, it's double locked to the bull bar of a partner's SUV in the double locked basement senior management car park, so come and have a go if you think you're hard enough, bike thieves.
Lots of macho talk of the Marathon des Sables in the office today. Let's face it, the most exercise most of us get is running out of the office at 6.30pm. Luckily, chat has now moved on to the SBH, an abbreviation which deserves to brought back into common usage.
So a bunch of junior New Labour lickspittles who no-one has ever heard of have resigned in protest at Tony Blair. You'd never catch me resigning just because I don't like the way the boss runs the place. Talk about a futile gesture.
College Green was buzzing with activity this morning as a result - half a dozen TV crews milling around, trying to get someone to comment on whether today will be the day on which a date on which the date will be announced will be announced. Or something.
As ever, Jack Straw has clarified the situation, telling a grateful nation on Radio 4 this morning that "we're not clear what the counterfactual is", and referring obliquely to "coalitions of uncertainty." Give that man a knighthood.
Saw a poster pasted to the back of a bus (that nearly killed me - the bus, not the poster) saying 'Cancel Israel' this morning. How does one go about cancelling an entire country? Is there a call centre? Does a Customer Retention team then call you to try and persuade you to change your mind?
On the subject of death, deathtimer.com has calculated my EDD (estimated death of demise) to be 7 March 2039, at the tender age of 66, which is distressing, since my life reached its halfway point on 13 February this year without my even noticing.
Better get a move on if my half-formed plans for world domination are ever to come to anything. Looks as if my working assumption that I'm gonna live forever may need to be revised downwards. Note to self: ensure that you light up the sky like a flame before dying.
Remaining characteristically gloomy, what's your favourite synonym for death? The Dead Parrot Sketch still contains the longest list, although my own personal favourite is 'to hand in one's dinner plate', which comes from my wife's family, and is one of the few things on earth that Google doesn't know a thing about…
Lots of macho talk of the Marathon des Sables in the office today. Let's face it, the most exercise most of us get is running out of the office at 6.30pm. Luckily, chat has now moved on to the SBH, an abbreviation which deserves to brought back into common usage.
So a bunch of junior New Labour lickspittles who no-one has ever heard of have resigned in protest at Tony Blair. You'd never catch me resigning just because I don't like the way the boss runs the place. Talk about a futile gesture.
College Green was buzzing with activity this morning as a result - half a dozen TV crews milling around, trying to get someone to comment on whether today will be the day on which a date on which the date will be announced will be announced. Or something.
As ever, Jack Straw has clarified the situation, telling a grateful nation on Radio 4 this morning that "we're not clear what the counterfactual is", and referring obliquely to "coalitions of uncertainty." Give that man a knighthood.
Saw a poster pasted to the back of a bus (that nearly killed me - the bus, not the poster) saying 'Cancel Israel' this morning. How does one go about cancelling an entire country? Is there a call centre? Does a Customer Retention team then call you to try and persuade you to change your mind?
On the subject of death, deathtimer.com has calculated my EDD (estimated death of demise) to be 7 March 2039, at the tender age of 66, which is distressing, since my life reached its halfway point on 13 February this year without my even noticing.
Better get a move on if my half-formed plans for world domination are ever to come to anything. Looks as if my working assumption that I'm gonna live forever may need to be revised downwards. Note to self: ensure that you light up the sky like a flame before dying.
Remaining characteristically gloomy, what's your favourite synonym for death? The Dead Parrot Sketch still contains the longest list, although my own personal favourite is 'to hand in one's dinner plate', which comes from my wife's family, and is one of the few things on earth that Google doesn't know a thing about…
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