Tuesday 17 April 2007

A degree of regret that can be equated with an apology

Today’s entry is dedicated to Des Browne, the soon-to-be-former Defence Secretary, who made history yesterday by being the first ever member of the current government to say ‘sorry:’
…eventually. Well done Des, it wasn’t as bad as all that, was it?

Apparently the poor guy has been compared by some unkind folk to Swiss Toni , a failed car salesman in The Fast Show (which I never really watched due to revision for accountancy exams). So, in tribute to the great man…

You know, completing a sensitivity analysis is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You’ve got to acquaint yourself in detail with an eye-catching model. You must carefully identify her most sensitive parts. And manipulate them skilfully, to achieve an end result that satisfies all parties. Then you draw a bunch of graphs.

Some bright spark has come up with an irritating TLA (except it's technically an FLA) for the frequent problem of dipping one’s toe into the www ocean to look up some inflation statistics, only to emerge four hours later dripping with an encyclopaedic (if unplanned) knowledge of the art of llama breeding. Step forward: WWILFing.

Grammatical whinge of the day (1)
According to this article, a broadband challenge is facing Britain. Surely it’s Britain that’s facing a broadband challenge? How about ‘The clouds wandered lonely as me’, or perhaps ‘Fear has nothing to fear except ourselves’? Sounds a bit odd.

Grammatical whinge of the day (2)
Bloody annoying Jo from last year’s Apprentice (the screeching, irrational, crying one, although this was only because whilst selling fruit and designing calendars, she apparently “wanted to be true to myself, but found each day my conscience was challenged… you have to face your fears, deal with your demons and fight them off every day.”) seems to have launched a company with a grammatically tragic press release, in which she can’t in fact spell Sralan’s ever-popular catchphrase “You’re fired”. Or is it “Your fired?” Or is it “Your fir’ed?” Or is it “Yo’u’re f’i’red?”

I, think its’ a load of crap.

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