Excel chimp: crunching numbers, counting beans

(Here) is the original. Up with a spring in my step and a song in my heart at oh-six-thirty hours this morning, after four and half hours o...

This was originally going to be a grimly ironic post about the longest day (summer solstice, some three days ago), involving some sardonic h...

Two unrelated stories about dogs and bicycles today. As I rounded a corner on a cycle path on Tooting Bec Common , I was sharply rebuked by ...

Cycling home at 1.30am is somehow an exhilarating experience – the streets smell different in the absence of exhaust fumes. There was no-one...

You have about a month's worth of Gordon Gekko quotes coming up as blog titles. The guy was, and remains, an absolute legend. A happy e...

Above is evidence, should any be needed, that the current fashion of being inclusive and insisting that the consumers of news websites ...

So it was Fathers' day (in the UK, at least) yesterday, so in a spirit of family solidarity, we dumped the chimplets with the nanny and ...

If you have more time on your hands than me, here is a list of Excel Chimp’s cousins in the corporate blogosphere. Here also is a good piec...

Two variations of an old joke #1 Q: Why did the due diligence accountant spend the best part of a month considering crossing the road, anal...

Well, I've been playing the due diligence game since Sultan Hisamuddin Alam Shah , Sultan of Selangor , died after a reign of 55 years ...

Well, today’s blog really was going to be a humdinger, sprinkled with a light dusting of the wittiest, most incisive, laugh-out-loud hil...

Spent most of the day trying to rally sufficient pieces of paper to satisfy the anti-money laundering bureaucracy, which is spiralling out o...

Looks as if Dubya’s got a case of the brad pitts at the G8 Summit . Can’t help wondering whether he deliberately ate a bunch of oysters lef...

Today’s column is dedicated to a chimping ex-colleague who was recently stabbed in the leg on his birthday by a gentleman as keen as mustar...

Back from a typical British Bank Holiday Monday – it pis*ed down with rain non-stop for 36 hours, and we went to Ikea in the sensible estate...

The English summer is upon us, which means that it’s cloudy, there are millions of tourists milling about taking pictures of each other, and...

Appearing in a reality TV show? Need for a pre-pixellated shirt? Your problem is solved . I spent an unhealthy amount of time this monring...

We all know that Gordo is a miserable sod, but this is ridiculous. The most annoying thing about these adverts, currently plastered on every...

A moderately diverting piece about randomness and luck from the beeb. It makes you wonder why you bother in life, doesn’t it? But then ap...

Today’s entry is dedicated to the aggressive fiftysomething lady on the rush hour train out of London on Friday night, who grabbed my broth...

Feeling as if my liver is going to explode today, mainly because of a four hour Menu Gourmand (roughly translates as 'bloated pig')...

Grrr

An opening address from our soon-to-be-former premier ministre . For those of you who don’t speak French, Monsieur Blair is announcing that...